On my mind

The things that have happened in the last 72 hours have me feeling the following: weary, scared, distraught, stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, unmotivated, confused, slightly angry, and heavy. I knew that when I went to bed November 8,2016 that I would not wake up to the same world November 9, 2016. I woke up today November 10, 2016 as if I've just been through the twilight zone. I woke up with the same anxiety I would have as if I had a presentation to present in class and I was scared to fail. It's this uneasiness that I can't get away from and that's really scary. I've never felt this moved or upset by something in my entire life living in America. I was aware of all the real problems here like: racism, sexism, bigotry, gender exclusion, and down right hatred for "the other", but to have so many people show that none of these issues matter is disheartening. And for the past two days everyone is acting and moving as if we still have the same life as we did before. No one is talking no one is moving anymore. Our president is only one man and his power can only go so far, but if he has the support of millions then he grows and grows. It's like watering a plant and wanting to receive it's harvest. This is my first election and boy has it torn me down. I thought that by doing my part and voting for a candidate that I believe could progress the new world that I've been living in for the last 8 years I would be fine, that's not how this world works. I thought by doing my part for one moment in my life that I would be fine, my future would be fine, but Just doing and thinking isn't enough. I've realized that change is an in going thing that has to be practiced every single day to perfect the equality that we all know can exist. I feel as though I've seen a death. An unexpected death that I didn't even realize was connected to me in anyway. And now I am grieving for all the memories I've lost with the unknown world and all the memories that will not come. I'm aware that this too shall pass, but this morning is the morning of a life I wasn't even aware that I had because I was so wrapped up in my own life,my beliefs, my everything. I should have looked at my freedom, my virtue, my peace, my surroundings in the eye and say " I value you, I love you, and I will do anything to keep you around." If anything what I take from this all is that I need and have to work every day harder and harder to prove the world wrong of what they think of me as women who's educated and as a women who is black. I've been doing this all my life having to prove myself worthy of equality, but I have so much more to give and I have to live. Peace is possible, kindness is possible, love is possible, freedom is possible. You know how I know that all these things exist is because I've seen, felt, and lived through it. There is no such thing as the future only the present and how we act at the every moment creates the world around us. So, feel how you need to feel for awhile. I don't blame you, but look deep deep deep into yourself, and find the fighter that lives within and show the world more than ever how much love humans can create and how much power the human race has. Fear is of the enemy. Fear just like the Future doesn't exist. Let's keep progressing let's keep changing. Let's embrace what has happened and smile because we know we are much bigger than our oppressor. We have something that he could never in a million years have. We have undeniable courage that bands us together. We see the qualities in every individual and we all shine once we come together. Our identities that make us who we are is what will create the world we once knew. We will create a better world where this won't ever happens again. The fear of the other won't divide us in hatred, but spark curiosity and desire to understand something or someone new. Before I wrote this I was scared and upset, now I'm not. So let's talk. let's move. Let's work for a better tomorrow.

#2016Election #lovewins #peace #happiness #love